summer beneath the trees

2009-09-09T16:30:00.001+08:00

moved

hi. ive moved to tumblr. its true, the grass is greener on the other side.

see you there.

2009-08-25T18:06:00.003+08:00

simi lai

Yann Rahman. says:
yeah! blardy hell..
dear mrs robinson (time to partey yo) says:
shit i forgot what i wanated to say
dear mrs robinson (time to partey yo) says:
oh yes please dont orge toabut our walk on Thurs 3pm
Yann Rahman. says:
huh

hahahahaha dear mrs robinson (eileen soh) wth?!?!!?!?!!!!!?!!?!?! hahahhaahha blardy hell.

2009-08-24T08:53:00.001+08:00

bb back

rid the bloody e71 and im on blackberry now. wahooo! friends please abandon whichever model ure holding and jump on board the bb wagon man!

2009-08-16T13:58:00.011+08:00

sparkring korea

im back. the short trip to Korea was my intended getaway aka break from the pile of mess here, which sorta turned out otherwise. guess its never a wise thing to form good impressions of anything you have never met or been to before because when it disappoints it shreds you into pieces and leaves you with nothing but a feeling of exasperation. alas, i am as stuck and tired as i left.

anyway here are some things i noticed about korea: whimsical architecture (in the mountains) you'll never find two similar looking houses or building and i really liked this about korea, there are more white cars than any other colour on the road, rude people, culturally less conservative than the chinese, very few fast food joints certainly not sucked into the whole globalization schmanzy (the opposite of what i thought), loves their korean food, barely any pretty girls.

2009-08-01T11:33:00.006+08:00

before joy there is always war

of the 240 days that have past in the year, i have been truly happy for 14. this makes the past 60 days or so of trying and frustrations unbelievably worth it, because now the only thing i struggle for is to see you more, touch you more, embrace you more. from the past 14 days and many more to come, lets remain this way cause we deserve to be.

i hope i made you as happy.

affectionately, bun

2009-07-20T19:24:00.002+08:00

you bet i will

i wasn't sure and i havent been for months, it really did kill every ounce of my being. today, certainty came in the form of liberation and i am sure. so sure because now, my mind is clear, my heart no longer aches, my shoulders they feel lighter, i am no longer afraid! god i need to feed off this high for as long as it lasts. glad its all coming to an end.

p.s mee, thank you

2009-07-19T19:50:00.004+08:00

nothing more than a wreck

this feels like forever and i'll never recover from it
what went wrong
how did i fall..

2009-07-17T14:51:00.004+08:00

this is not a love song

this thing we have, it puzzles me.
we rode in slow circles, up, down, down and up..
i want all of you and i'd shred you into pieces
this thing we have, is a riddle i'd kill to unwrap

you make me happy today
so lets just follow the stars tonight

2009-07-09T12:42:00.006+08:00

a different dimension

of late, little strange and warped things have been happening and i am really starting to ponder what they mean and what the universe is trying to tell me. my dreams have been dark and filled with death, and it includes family or people who are of importance in my life. they are misty, all of them are like im watching old black and white film; in retrospect but then again happening and too surreal. often lack of light.

work, well work's work but as much as im fully submerged in the culture, im too beginning to step out of the picture and something doesnt quite feel right. its cold and alittle less friendly than it already is. i cant place my finger on it, perhaps its me who grew cold and nonchalent.

now i get to the strangest matter of all. quietly creeping up on me for the past three months i'd say and i am bugging desperately for an answer with anyone next to me when it happens. always when i casually look up to check on time, whether it be my cell phone the computer a watch or in a car, time always reads in multiples of the same digit. and the most repetitive of them is 3.33pm, 1.11pm or am, 4.44pm, 11.11am. i dont understand this and why, do you? (below, just an example i manage to catch)

so as i lead my daily routines and go about life "normally", i am constantly reminded that somehow life recently isnt too normal for me. i am deeply puzzled and its making me feel down. this is dire, i have a pressing need to see that my life is part of a bigger picture before i slip into a wallflower, into oblivion.

2009-06-28T22:38:00.004+08:00

life is horrible

and its worse when you have to CHOOSE!

how like that, tell me. HOW

2009-06-28T03:41:00.003+08:00

germaphobe

christ, the relief.. i refer this godsent ad to my entry dated back on Sunday April 26 2009:

"For the heck of it "tell me what it is you dont like/enjoy"

- i really dont like silver and champagne coloured cars (!!)
- i dont like touching public doorknobs/handles or surfaces commonly touched by people"

...hold! right there, point number two. THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT MY MIND PICTURES DURING THOSE HORRIBLE PUBLIC RIDES. I KID YOU NOT. hallelujah, i aint no mad person.

2009-06-24T22:43:00.003+08:00

naming robert

giving my monkey a name made me human
naming my monkey was a sign of the readiness in me
to be emotionally attached to an inanimate object i never did
naming my monkey made me more human
i am more human, now

2009-06-22T20:02:00.022+08:00

shangshang ah

(p.s the content below are subject to my personal preference)

i returned to shanghai last week - 9 years after my first trip - and even on the second visit my dislike for the city has not been swayed despite the fancy schmancy hotel i put up at. shanghai is another singapore, except far more globalized that many would argue. look above, below, to the left and right of you resides a far greater fraction of global brands than local ones (wayy more than what we have here and i dont just refer to retail boutiques but restaurants, bistros and what have you).

before my departure, i was intimidated by the thought of being alone in a dominant chinese-speaking country and not being able to communicate, but oh no need to worry for that because almost everyone speaks in basic english enough to get you around the city - a far cry from how it was back then. to my dismay, i honestly expected myself to bust the wallet with shopping by the second day (even with the available 3hours i had left of the day to shop) but na-uh(!) i overestimated my spending habits and arrived back home in singapore with a-third of what i brought over. perhaps i was at the wrong side of the city, perhaps but still ive never found it more of a chore to drag my feet along the dusty streets just to desperately pop into a decent shoplet and spend all the molah i have with me (in case you're wondering, even with the "bu jian jia" ethic they now practice throughout the island i had no where to spend my molah). this is by far the most disappointing shopping session ive had abroad.

albeit the disappointed there was one thing that caught my attention which inevitably transported my mind back to singapore's never-ending stretch of hay (stray stalks of grass sticking out all over) along the highways then.. goodgod found myself really hoping singapore would look to shanghai as an example. from the suburbs to the city of shanghai you'll find that each bush and tree along the roads is perfectly trimmed. so although you may be consumed by the choking pollution, your eyes feasts on those immaculately neat greenery which somehow .. and quite strangely balances the two. strange really and that was the only thing i loved about shanghai..

well anyway, said enough.. will prolly be another 9 years before i decide to step back in there. i tribute my trip to a true concrete jungle with the peektures below.

2009-06-08T21:32:00.007+08:00

are you a television

for most parts of it, i like the direction my social life is heading toward. ive reconnected with the ones that went astray and strengthened the rest. dont die on me my friends, we have many more chapters to cover :)

forget about plotting and getting me drunk. AINT gonna happen!

2009-05-26T09:09:00.003+08:00

zombie-d

how can this be?

been attempting to hit the sack at 10 every night
awake the next day for the same routine, except i always feel like i never slept
then pile on sugar to keep myself going for the day
..and the cycle begins
i am still just too tired

how can this be..

2009-05-22T14:07:00.003+08:00

off i go

last night, i stood reveling in the night
the night i worked every cell and sweat for
i am becoming my own person, that i am sure of
is something none of them is able to take away from me
last night, i stood silently and cheered on myself as my own hero

..i am moving on

2009-05-16T00:05:00.004+08:00

burnt out

i know i am really stress when i relate to everything that my lecturer went through in class on the topic 'Emotions, Stress and Human Capital on Organizations' and actually panicked with stress that i was stress about being truly stressed at work. more accurately according to the textbook i am 'burnt out'. her words of enlightenment was exactly this "if you cant change the situation, change the way you think about the situation." but ive practiced that exactly a year back.. so how? i need better words of wisdom. help (?) before i turn into Christian Bale in The Machinist.

2009-04-26T00:23:00.006+08:00

little known

For the heck of it "tell me what it is you dont like/enjoy"

- i really dont like silver and champagne coloured cars (!!)
- i dont like touching public doorknobs/handles or surfaces commonly touched by people
- i dont like to be in crowds, possibly why im never seen around
- i dont like clubbing, i enjoy pubbing
- i dont like/understand newage r&b
- i dont like to be brushed against a stanger's bag in public
- i dont like to be touched by wet hands
- i dont like wet utensils
- i dont like stepping on sticky floors
- i dont like walking behind strangers
- i dont like sharing food unless i initite to
- i dont like settling for second best

so, what do you not like?

2009-04-23T14:03:00.002+08:00

is this heartache

B you stole my heart
ripped it wide open
i am a freaken mess
B this is heartache, heart ache over you

2009-04-11T21:41:00.007+08:00

if he wanna rock he rocks

twenty years filled constantly with insatiable wants, i faced drought the past year. didnt look forward to going out or shopping, i was as stale as a mouldy bread. so my friends, ive been anticipating eagerly for change since last thursday and all that anticipation made me look forward to a brand new start away from this rut (god please i need to be hired by xxx! friends dont be an itchy backside to name the company ah. highly confidential). i saw many things, and i saw possibilities.. i found my need to want again. who is Eileen without all that want! if i wanna rock i rock!

someone, anyone gracious enough.. (ya know what to do)

2009-04-03T21:25:00.002+08:00

old, fat and lonely

you know, i miss my friend.

2009-03-22T14:11:00.004+08:00

you're about to enjoy

all you needed to do was to step out of the picture and, take a look..
there you go, the simplicity in life you've overlooked:

saturday evening; the angry sun that painted the sky red

that same evening; the pretty rainbow you always ignored

last monday; the silly side of your colleagues

2009-03-13T22:38:00.006+08:00

today, we're 16 again

back then if someone warned us how our paths would separate as it has now, im certain we'd create our own time machine.

not too long ago we had it all planned. we lived on cloud nine, we bicker, there was our 100th, there was america, we were eager, we were happy. a couple of old photos and here i am smiling at us. pondering how it all went wrong. seeing them again i am consumed at how happy we were.

alas, we are at where we are today with reason. of all past battles this feels like our last but in this moment im stopping time and transporting myself back.

2009-03-07T12:08:00.005+08:00

i'd do anything spontaneously

05.03.09 sitting five rows away from Jason Mraz for an hour and a half, i was smitten (not just cause i paid $173 for his hugh grant resemblance anymore) but for his power lungs and ridiculously good band. Zoey and i was up grooving and dancing throughout and honestly i didnt give a rat's ass that the entire stadium behind me including people i knew was blocked by my view and that they saw Eileen dancing (yea i know)! handsdown, The Best Gig ever.

06.03.09 a very eventful day. met the usual suspects for a very random visit back to pl since our graduation and on a very unforgiving sunny day may i add! so mmm apart from the disappointment that the canteen vendors are all gone and the change in structure, it was really cool catching up with the teachers we bump into. whats even cooler is that they speak to us like we're their pals now man! as planned, we left for the dog farm and i (never thought i would but i did) fell in love with the meekest golden retriever. she was too lovely. next was to weilin's crib to wash our mosquito infested legs (!!) before heading to the cheese cake cafe at siglap. then with my rum n raisin cheesecake filled stomach, met my family for dinner at chijmes to celebrate Mum's birthday. eat and eat and eat only bloody hell.

2009-02-27T01:16:00.008+08:00

ohman i see

time does pass exceptionally fast as you grow older, i am officially twentyone and legal. beat that. this is without a doubt the most fulfilling celebration i've done and (financial damage aside) i honestly wouldnt have done it differently. heres the recap:

13.02.09 Val, Freesia, Charissa and i had dinner at marmalade pantry, they dolled up our table beautifully. then, god knows what got into me i turned down an intimate night at eastcoast and suggested we get smashed (their eyeballs literally popped and rolled around the floor). next thing i know we were seated at DoubleO with shots on the table. after my 7th consecutive mix of shots, i was prancing around our table like a retard in my drunken stupor. when the last 2 came, all i remembered was pushing people away from me (while they attempt to kiss me, which they did eventually by the way) and feeling like i took a trip to hell and never came back. it was horri-ble.

14.02.09 Barely 4 hours of sleep later, i awoke from a violently thumping heart and a throbbing headache "ouh shit! they (my cousins) are coming in 3 hours time". when they finally arrived, i was certain my big family party/celebration was going to be ruined and as my lethargy killed my little cousins excitement, i was filled was tremendous guilt! im telling you there was an atomic bomb ticking away in all of us while we spent the afternoon decorating. somehow, rehearsing our roles for the night brought the zest back and we were Ready, i could feel it (oh btw, i never went back to sleep)! with a blink of an eye, the night came and went (too quickly). if it makes sense, the fun i had came from watching them having fun. it was very memorable.

18.02.09 Stepped into office as i do on every mundane morning and to my surprise was two paper bags on my table (i knew immediately it was from Yann), i tore them open and yelped at what was infront of me; 2 STARBUCKS MUG ohhmygod! later at night, i met Alicia for dinner. another sneaky girl. she made me walk to collect a pair of havaianas meant for me (but of course i saw through her)!

20.02.09 Jumped off bed early to get ink(ed) with deer Oke, hehe. oh and may i just say this, it hurt like a biatch and i got Oke to get the exact same ink on her. we strolled over to lido and caught Hes Just Not That Into You (dumb and poorly put together) and had the most enjoyable time eating icecream. okay i know i said i wouldnt have done anything differently, but This is the only thing i'd beat myself up thinking about. i left orchard for home to complete my assignment due 3 days later. later at night, dad drove me to mama house where Amanda, Huiyi and i counted down to the last second of the day.

21.02.09 I left home at 4pm to meet Clarice before proceeding to collect speakers from dad and carrefour to grab some beverages. we had soo much to carry i was cursing to her throughout when she suddenly said "clara is coming here soon with some people, its a surprise. ohman you are going to be very very surprised". 5mins later, i notice movement and chuckles where Clarice was standing (blocked by a column), i walked towards her and there appears Clara, Chin Xiuwen, Gwen and Gina "OHMYGODDDDDD!" We got to my office and started setting things up, albeit leaving a note on the invite stating "strictly no latecomers" my dear friends started pouring in after 730pm. so anyway after 1 birthday cake (and another one i brought home) 6 large pizzas (we ordered 10 large pizzas btw bleedy hell man), 7 bottles of drinks, pictures, alot of catching up and laughters, we cleared up and the few of us left for Rebel. so yeap, i am still seriously surprised by the number of turn ups and am so genuinely touched for every single one of you who came. it is extremely comforting to see how all of you are the same old wacky bunch of nincompoops we were at lorong ah soo. Thank you :)

with this, i convey my heartfelt appreciation and gratitude for a well spent 21st, which wouldnt have been as spectacular as it was if not for every single one of the blessings, gifts and attendance from my dearest family and friends. until the next party, tata!

2009-02-10T09:49:00.004+08:00

go public

What a strange start to the year, all that holiday seriously left me loosing perception of time.. bam! SHIT ITS MY BIRTHDAY NEXT WEEK ALREADY ADFGJKAFDLVJKALFJ! So anyway for goodness’s sake, i present my birthday wishlist to my blog’s pathetic audience of 2 (freesia and i hahahaha):

- Leica Dlux 3/4 (!!!!!)
- Polo Ralph pink and white stripes shirt
- Havaianas in red, green or blue
- 2009 (daily) leather organizer
- Mont Blanc card holder
- Tennis racket
- The HUGE Starbucks mug
- Canon Ixus 75 case
- A mini-bank
- Money

I’ve been spending time with my extended family religiously for three weeks since the start of cny, life will (without question) suck without them after our rendezvous and because im too lazy, the photos will come in later! Tata

2009-01-25T23:15:00.006+08:00

kiddo

some days back on my way to work, the conversation exchanged (naturally) was about the coming cny and i was profoundly startled by how unenthusiastic i was over it - particularly because (and as everyone knows) i regard family with utmost importance. then the thought strike me, gee i must finally be older than i imagine i am (or has the humdrum of life got me). whichever it is, this is bad news. reason being, every adult loathes family get togethers; unnecessary, waste of time, politics, the drama, yada. they somehow are just so sucked out of the joie de vivre! just as how uncertain i am as to why they dread it, i cant reason within me why i seem unfazed. this is very puzzling. heck, reverse time i wanna be excited!

i deserve to be, we all do. comeon..

2008-12-31T09:03:00.003+08:00

save now

no plans, no resolutions. 2009 will just be about embracing whats present.

anyway, fathers always will impart some sort of wisdom "why everyone counting down to a bad year ah" (everyone chuckle chuckles)

2008-12-20T09:29:00.003+08:00

every kinda people

not if its news. much more than i anticipated and planned, 2008 is a letdown
the good transpire as the bad, vice versa. i am not able to reason how it all end up being my achilles' heel. but this is important, i should have and will from now credit your tireless pursue for being by me. alicia, this rotten year would have been unbearable if not for you. you dont know and i never say it enough, thank you.

to the rest of my unsung heroes, please peek in your mailbox.

ciao!

2008-12-03T21:48:00.003+08:00

you me, we

you're happy but im sad
you're in a good place and im not
i wanna talk to you but i cant stay happy
i wanna laugh along yet i can only watch

i think its better i stay away

2008-11-28T12:38:00.003+08:00

mine

i have none left in me
life is too tiresome
i lose.

2008-11-16T11:40:00.004+08:00

yes i'll make it all mine!

you have to play this as you read the contents below

on the subject of want, i want many things. i want:
1. to be the best at what i do
2. to graduate tomorrow
3. christina yang to be with owen!
4. to win a 5 million lottery
5. to pass my !@$%!^theory test
6. to tour europe with eenian
7. to be back in beijing
8. to be friends with jason mraz because he looks like hugh grant
9. to know you
10. all of them now

one more? kay

11. to fill the rest of my list in 11

2008-11-15T16:30:00.007+08:00

cathedral bells

last weekend saw the celebration of ada and jerry's love! the rascals including myself took the time to announce the family's christmas chalet to everyone and I AM THRILLED. imagine the noise and fun.. everyday i anticipate! anyway i do have alot on my mind to speak about but its probably better done with a human! ciao

btw, how did i become soo fair!?

"dear frank, i have lost someone very important to me. i know she is out there. please post this. she'll know how to contact me. shes my best friend. thanks"

2008-11-02T12:39:00.002+08:00

this feels more like life

wednesday: work, kanye west at indoor stadium
thursday: work, dfs masquerade party
friday: work, avenue q, nights in rodanthe

saturday: haircut, alicia turned me into a partial-blond, gardens

2008-10-26T20:45:00.004+08:00

this is for you e

i am so thrilled about not settling

2008-10-20T20:14:00.003+08:00

shiat

the tidal wave of events have finally calmed and i now have room to breathe (for the moment)! my mother and i had a short exchange of conversation shortly after i came home..

Me: Mummy, what did you have for lunch today
Mummy: Nothing. i didnt have anything the whole day. only the dinner you bought me lor..(pause).. Thank you ah..
Me: okay

but really, i was saying aiyoo mummyyyyy.. you're welcome

i failed a v.important project for school. my heart is heavy as hell

2008-10-05T21:58:00.002+08:00

googoogaaga

god forbid feeling frightened. i had a nightmare last night of the scene i will be "reenacting" tomorrow morning at work with my boss. the dream was so nasty that i shrunk into a dried prune today thinking about it. i need all the available luck-help-fortune-miracle whichever, please pray for mee.

2008-10-04T14:58:00.000+08:00

GP esca-pui

the world's first formula one night race will remain memorable to me in a long time! and no not the same reason as what the papers say! heres our story: i shared 3 nights and 4 days in two rooms with 3 G boys at pan pacific hotel. work presumed in the day right up till midnight when all hell would break loose and the devil in us (i never knew i had one like that) came out to party..

(the bad) the usual akdlgjadflnvkldfhaglkdfhgalkjhfglaadeeda.

(the good) Friday night saw us taking a stroll over to Chivas party feat Chicane at slightly over 1am. it was packed as hell and we manage to only catch a glimpse of Chicane before her last act. the boozo kaboozo came pouring in and almost instantly, Chivas got us tips-seyy. we partied the night through (all drunk and tipsy as hell), when the party ended i literally dragged those boys into the taxi and back to our rooms somehow! the rest of the night shall remain his-to-ry! Saturday night was one soap opera episode which kept two of us in the hotel and the other two at Amberlounge. On the last night, we all headed to SJP not exactly as ideal as we planned it to be but anyway Rihnana, Lydia Lam and What-Happened were there, good enough!

it was honest-to-god fun while it lasted! okay project, bye!

(i have no idea why the colours are so horrible here)

2008-09-23T16:32:00.006+08:00

sucha chimp

in the real world, you meet many different kinds of people. but really, there only ever are two kinds. One: the ones whose skills are limited to covering their own arse only. Two: the god sent ones.

in a day at work, i face countless of attacks from the Type One people. i used to close one eye and get on with the job but as times passed, the eye thats been shut all along took a trip to bermuda.t and never came back. so how now brown cow, this gal here went bonkers. just yesterday, we rolled out the longest trash bag i have ever seen and i decided to wriggle into it and transform myself into a black anaconda. when i got into the bag i burst into an uncontrollable fit of laughter because its the silliest shit i ever did in the office and i didnt understand why i did to begin with (this was a totally random act on a sunny afternoon while everyone was hard and serious at work). the people who witnessed my act went into shock for a good 5secs before they burst out laughing "EILEEN!?!!? WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!?!?"

... sucha chimp

2008-09-13T16:00:00.001+08:00

look after the porridge

the sanity of mother, happiness for all.

mother: okay im going now, look after the porridge for me
me: i dunno how to look after porridge! must i shower and play with it or what
mother: (glares at me like im a moron and burst out laughing) look after the porridge la! qi shi wo
me: mummyy.. i really dunno how to look after the porridge..
MOTHER COMES OVER AND WHACK MY BUTT "look after the porridge! bye!"

...siao look after the porridge. so funny my mother

2008-09-06T02:25:00.004+08:00

sly bunch

where the shit are your bloody balls. stuck in your throat issit!??

no, seriously

2008-09-02T20:39:00.004+08:00

milestone

on one of the very rare occasions at work, i was greeted with an email that lighted up my day and trump over every damn hissy fit that came along. 6 months since ive been in Q and this is what i call a milestone - to cut the long story short, a structure i created over a fit of anger to curb an ongoing issue will possibly be used by our global network (now gimme a pound break it down break my pickle heres a ticklee, ahma@$%*&*%#^&gawd)!

that aside, the taxi ride home today cost me close to 30 times it'll cost to take the public transport home. wort da hell.. Singapore is not worth it and the cost of living is just scaring the shit out of my pants!

the girl from another planet

2008-08-24T23:13:00.007+08:00

if the world was softer

quite naturally, the conversational topics shared over the past three days gravitated towards friendship. even as the wake is being held, the reality of this tragedy hasnt quite sunk in. my mother is shaken, shaken by the fact that her close friend who calls and meets her everyday for tea is no longer ringing her up for coffee, that just for a mere two minutes after they hung up on the phone this awful accident happened. she was my mother's confidant, friend and companion - a close family friend who was adored by all. it poured the entire day today.. must be the heavens mourning over the departure of a selfless friend/mother/wife/sister.

its a harsh world we are in. the next time someone throws you a question: will you cry for me if i passed away? reflect on what it truly means to you, life is full of uncertainty and indeed so.

2008-08-22T09:06:00.005+08:00

live life

the family was awoken this morning with a call from the husband of my mum's good friend (maybe an understatement); he was sobbing hard on the phone, she got into an accident and is in a deep coma. undeniably, everyone dove into an immediate state of shock and believe i still am while penning this down. what is quite painful is watching my mum reminisce about her friend in the car while all of us kept quiet.

even as i pen this down now, i struggle to remember the times spent with her. my mind is blank, i am not able to recollect any memories with her. this is too real a situation - if a similar situation happened to myself, will it be more painful knowing i cant place a fond memory to a friend..

life is full of uncertainty, and indeed so.

2008-08-18T15:45:00.002+08:00

check one two

at some point, i have to believe i am much bigger than where i am

what's happening?

2008-08-12T16:04:00.005+08:00

gee oh oh dee

the start of semester two, the influx of assignments the pressure to meet those datelines the headache of stretching time to complete them, I CANT BLOODY WAIT TO BE DONE AND OVER WITH SCHOOL! but amidst the chaos, i am beginning to find my order - even if it means being away from home till 1 in the morning on sunday and finding peace in completing my assignments with company of friends of which i would never have if circumstances were different. life now, equals learning to find joy while painfully bending my rules.

wish i ohh wish i - jem

2008-08-05T17:53:00.004+08:00

boozo kaboozo

everything about last night with Xavier and Eenian followed the theme of Outrages Overindulgence! (no fullstops. take a deep breath anddd read!) on the rarest occasion for the three of us to meet we had dinner at a cosy sushi parlor - filled with white collared Japanese men dressed in high-waisted trousers - that served the freshest seafood and ahmagawd the plumpest sashimis, proceeded next to hongkong cafe @ siglap and ordered like mad considering the dinner we had previously.. pondered for the longest time on the next agenda for the night, (movie? noo changi? noo coffee? noo eenian's place? noo drinks? okay!) so we drove and combed around the central area and ended up at the pump room which then saw us ordering rounds and rounds of alcohol right up till the wee-wee hours, (hang on almost done..) finally to good ol' beloved punggol nasi lemak THEN *walk stumble kick walk knock shower and PLONK onto bed..

going out without a budget is seriously the shiokestest thing on earth!

2008-08-03T20:47:00.006+08:00

i must say

because ive never been the person who takes uncalculated major leaps, i must say i am rather happy with the progression ive made in regards to my social life. one person who doesnt know it but helped pull me through quite a bit is Eenian, i know (cross my fingers and hope to be certain) i can count on her when i feel down and is in dire need for latte at starbucks, midnight suppers or after-work shopping dinners and movie. with her, our conversations go on about the life we so long to lead in london and in paris, our crazy sherlock detective adventures, life and nothingness.. in no time when she departs for manchester again, i'll have to find another friend as intellectually inclined, goofy and laid back as her.

on another note im in desperate need for a change of wardrobe, i need to pack up on crayon coloured clothings (ive moved away from black quite radically) but there doesnt seem to be much to buy nowadays. it is honestly quite depressing to be confined in a glass paneled white space for 5 days a week which results in dressing up becoming less exciting, nonetheless i will dig deep within that-somewhere in my heart and relive the excitement again. huge sigh even more desperately, i need to live in a country where dressing sartorially is appreciated and with all my heart hope not be sucked into the dreary flip-flop culture here!!!

(note to self: im not at SingFest but its okay i have Bailando Va playing!)

2008-07-22T01:26:00.009+08:00

oh! gravity

here i am, in black and white: so.. seven months of intentional avoidance from people and friends - only with the exceptional few i chose to speak and met on occasions. the past year has seen me going through the highest and lowest in life and in typical eileen fashion, i cocooned myself at home in desperate search for solace but only to find myself filling in the gaps by stuffing myself silly with food (you dont actually think the full extend of what went on will be divulged in an open blog, did you?!). ive gained an obvious amount of weight and believe me how i wish with all my might to rewind that sickening part of my life.

..i decided to crawl out of the dark on sunday to meet a bunch of idiots i so dearly missed and with all seriousness, never realised the extend of how i've longed for the ol' times again until i actually got out of the house. so what'd you know im all ready and set to reconcile with life, people and yes you again. be patient with me guys and in due time, i'll call you. its been half a year do pardon my excitement and if you spot me out and about again wearing 10kg worth of skin and lard, they'll come off..

gwen if you're reading this, call me. ure amongst the first i wanna see.

2008-06-24T23:35:00.004+08:00

peace tonight

tonight i'll lay and watch mum until i fall asleep

2008-06-16T22:06:00.003+08:00

-

i cant weather this

all that is happening

i cant weather it

2008-06-08T16:42:00.008+08:00

dont jinx it

i am married to my job and this is me living in the moment, being present. truth is, time sweeps pass you so much faster this way yet it is the only way i choose to see it happening.i feel older, much older and disconnected with the life and people i've once been immersed with. oh dont be mistaken this isnt discontentment, i just dont wish to jinx it. i am here, have always been but it feels like a different place. my point, well you dont have to be in another continent to feel like you've left the country you always knew but it is what you choose to leave behind. something that still constantly fascinates me.

i never knew it.. strangely it is the liberation i've been after.

2008-05-25T19:32:00.003+08:00

meet robert

i have been bashed on msn by many on my month long nick (you'd know if you're in my list), well anyway this is robert. he is Finally finally here. oh, and yea i look retarded in the pictures because i feel retarded around him. yesterday was also his first time out of the house with freesia, i think he had quite alot of fun. he hope you did too.

2008-05-19T21:42:00.006+08:00

heres a comeback

its been half a decade (not kidding) since i last swam so eliza and i decided it was time to take a dip at the pool again. after dinner we slipped, or may i just say squeezed and tucked into our swimming gears

...wow

i looked up and without exaggeration saw a blue whale in the mirror, it was horrifying! (hell yea as terrifying as watching shutter) in short, what i used to recognize as my arm is now my forearm, what was my calf is now my arm, what was my thigh is now my calf and i cant go on anymore its just visually the most tragic thing to ever witness. we jumped in (the pool) and i sank immediately.. as if its not painful enough, go figure!

...this clearly is the day i died (insert emoticon of dead rose)

p.s also the same person who showered and had a curry puff (EAT YOUR damn SELF EILEEN SOH!!)

2008-04-18T22:36:00.006+08:00

your pepper

i do honestly think you are dumb. minus 50 points for your stupidity.

p.s i havent been smiling alot, ive just been eating!

2008-04-13T16:16:00.004+08:00

lesson 101

learn to:
never ever be an itchy backside and decide to check your (work) emails on weekends, it sends you straight to the pits of hell.

2008-04-06T22:16:00.003+08:00

olivia

whatever it was, i should have done something. i am now a big ball of regret.

2008-03-29T22:31:00.003+08:00

on a downward spiral

my heart is heavy my mind is running. ive been sleeping but am not alseep. i am awake but exist in the dreams ive dreamt. ive been talking but have never really spoken. i see you but where is my shadow.

ive lost all perspective i am just moving.

2008-03-20T01:21:00.004+08:00

and you

"and.make.you.wake.up"

codependency, like a bloody zit in society that wont pop and a very good point drawn across by my (undefeated) favourite gay. i recycle these sorta people alot, you should too. it works. as for now i like settling in a little corner after work with the better ones; like them.

2008-03-12T22:23:00.003+08:00

hows your day at work

disgus-stink.

these people are anything but civil, they probably rose from a pile of shit. im sorry for being foul but it gets increasingly impossible. every cell in my body twitches and struggles to keep off bursting into a verbal fit everytime i get spoken to (with them). im unrecognisable at work and it scares the hell out of me.

its a torment thinking about it and whatdoyouknow, its back into the shark-pit on friday girl! if you think im nasty, think trice.

2008-03-03T22:26:00.002+08:00

yea its crazy

in comparison to the previous years, this birthday was without a doubt one of the most well spent. so i thank you, to the people who blindfolded my paranoid and frightened self across orchard, my sis and mom for the best mexican food, elaine for "this cost half your pay" shirt, grandma for the angbao, the people at work for being decently pleasant, alicia for "eileen where are you now? can you come down, im downstairs", and not forgetting the list of people who text me. so the year proves once again that simplicity surpasses extravagance anytime. to all mentioned or not i truly appreciate the gesture.

2008-02-17T18:33:00.016+08:00

toss it up

thank god chinese new year was a good one this year. scrap that infact it was Fan-tastic. if you asked, we'd actually all struggle to answer when was the last time we had good unassuming fun together like that, for as long as i recall there was too much sadness. and so i wont begin to tell you how much gratitude i have for the occasion this year in particular because truly, every single one of us deserve to relish in the joy it brings. cheers to good times!

2008-01-30T14:44:00.000+08:00

wednesday

i made it! i made it and i start right after chinese new year. this is insane and i am insanely incoherent! i am completely overwhelmed with a wave of joy. euphoria ive never felt before! this is four long awaited years of pure happiness. two thousand and eight, you are one heck of a fantastic year.

2008-01-28T19:15:00.000+08:00

walk alil

i might as well just change the address to thegreyseries.Photoblog.com

anyway...

a healthy hearty sunday morning.

(... i really have to do this more)

2008-01-22T15:44:00.000+08:00

priceless

monday: after a year odd of missing in action my ex stripe fanatic friend and i finally met up again and it was nothing short of shopping, good ol' catching up and a shit load of sickening exchanges of irritating jokes. MAN i would love to lead an independent adult life with you free from parents and away from this dumb land in our convertibles! woohoo. see you again ah!

saturday: on the train, i sat positioning myself slightly to the left facing you with the standing crowd when suddenly and out of nowhere, someone left a megafart-bomb leaving an unbelievably pungent stench of good ol' german gas across the cabin. i looked up immediately with my nose pinched only to find your miserable face crumpled up like a crushed paperball. in typical eileen fashion i burst out laughing because (...) i didnt bother telling you that earlier on he was the same guy who burped and coughed like a moron into your hair! ohhmygodddd HAHAHAHHAHAHA. so wicked man.

by the way the victim was eliza soh. (HAHAHAHAHA)

2008-01-05T17:09:00.000+08:00

wish we had it all

=) doesnt this just makes you happy!

maybe we can make this work

2008 will be better. right?

2007-12-28T23:11:00.000+08:00

little girl blue

i failed my advance theory test. i thought about it, theres no other way for the year to end on a more depressing note. *slam bang kick punch SULK LIKE A BABY.

2007-12-17T02:06:00.000+08:00

nine million bicycles in beijing

pictures will do all the talking today (beware pictures overload!)

u know, im pretty damn depressed to be back in singapore; the land of ultimate monotony, singlish and HDB flats. because minus the stench, not the toilets but THE PEOPLE who dont close their cubicle doors, the bad breaths, the pollution, the pushing, their ill manners and the 24/7 jams, i really do genuinely like Beijing (just anything over my birth country!) damn.

2007-11-26T21:53:00.000+08:00

maybe

maybe i'll have something to say tomorrow

2007-11-21T03:27:00.000+08:00

what a feeling

in the many sleepless nights spent awake, much thought was given to what i tried but could never piece together; disappointments and the anguish that comes after. unjust for those feelings of despair over inconsistencies (not mine) and what you knew you never singlehandedly created. but of course, not everyone got the attention (i believe in exclusiveness). well in this searching world, i finally got it..

anyway, overdue photos

2007-11-18T18:47:00.000+08:00

just get happy

ten years of my life summarized in 3hours of hardcore reminiscing from 1 to 4am on a saturday morning. we actually got lost in our little bubbled world amongst the other crazy nocturnals. life really did rock that morning! and because my brain was soaked with esthetic even after i snugged cozily into bed, i was kept awake for the next 20hours where i laid in bed (with ipod on) and watched the sky's gradual shift of colour. waited and waited till the time finally came to carry out the anticipated activities planned for the day which involves purchasing my new toy (not the one i intended but im happy with it nonetheless) and running some errands. i really like saturday, taking the effort drafting and talking about it is making me glee with joy all over.. hee!

ps. i am unbelievably happy and proud of you beyond words tricia! you deserve this

p.p.s sorry I HAD TO DO THIS ITS TOO FUNNY, and thankyouuu!

2007-11-01T01:44:00.000+08:00

alittle more

2007 has been a ride and ive yet to acknowledge the certain few who stood by..

1. no one has outwardly express themselves to me more than you have, and i in turn say little to you. i still dont know what to say but if theres any one person i would thank whoreheartedly, it would be you for sticking by no matter how hard i pushed you away.
2. for the comfort of the memories and knowing you'll always be around, thank you.
3. i kept going because conversations with you about moulding the craziest dreams and aspirations together is a bloody motivation. to hell with the distance cheers to tomorrow!
4. i can never comprehend the certain fondness i have for you and how you constantly amaze me. for all that its worth, i hope this works out.
5. you gave me the only and exact thing i needed; pure good unassuming fun!

im not sure what encouraged this, i guess what i mean to say is Thank You. im elated and over the moon because gone are the days when i have been kept awake with donut eyes till 5 in the morning completing group projects. life, welcome home!

that aside, people brace yourself i am coming out of the closet. this is The predominant reason why i wanna live in america; to end my lifelong search for these two. its been 5 freaking agonizing years and counting you bet im moving full force with this! good god, beyond hot-o-meter..

anyway i present you television's best onscreen friendship and lovers; the most ideal in every damn aspect. christina, this is no joke i am bloody envious.

p.s love the new skin! thank you P.

2007-10-27T18:53:00.000+08:00

you do it to yourself

its the 27th of October today and half the world has plans to celebrate Halloween tonight. i actually hadn't realized it myself but now that ive brought it up, if you do not understand the irreverence of this ridicule, shame on you.

2007-10-04T23:17:00.000+08:00

making of a nutcase

when im not vexing and being a villain over a project, this is what i do, i turn into a nocturnal being spending time with people who matter. as of now, life is good. i hate and love the way shit is now. bloody hell, i do.

our visit to yesteryear; pl funfair

my kinda fun at 3 in-the-freaking-morning

oh yes and btw, FAT and dont give a damn!

2007-09-24T00:29:00.000+08:00

interes-thing

the current module's project (mmr) is finally done and because ive been kept busy for so long, the weekend never felt more strange; i had no idea how time should be spent so i wasted it. check: revisited yesteryear with the help of my good ol' blog, watched and rewatched Crocker, attempted to complete books i chucked aside during their climax (dont ask me why i do that), been listening to Gimme More on repeat for 48hours now, flickr surfing, slept and ate enough to feed the stray animals not just in asia alone but the world. im ballooning at an unimaginable speed, DISGRACE!

later in the day when i decided was time to get in touch with mankind again, i met up with my good ol' peeps and got my pinky painted black. but here is whats interesting, each one of us got crowned a title:
Miss Predictable, Miss Slut, Miss Judgmental, Miss Unpredictable.

come on play along (leave a comment)!
i figured this is a rather tricky guess. but no prizes for guessing which title i was crowned with hor!

dont ask me why i said that either!

2007-09-23T00:31:00.000+08:00

Gimmemore

for a week odd now my subconscious drifts to a certain someone at a specific time of the day. this someone of which i bare no form of acquaintance to, haven't remotely got a clue to his name, his age, his nationality, much less his background. but what information i do posses, is the form of his sihulouette and the features of his face. a part of my subconscious or conscious now if you wish, fonds of his presence for although we may share no similarities, the one thing in common was the moment shared. goodness this is not me talking!

swaying away from that..

Crocker looking fine as hell. Gimme more

2007-09-09T22:13:00.000+08:00

was dreaming of tomorrow

this is a declaration. a declaration of profound adoration and attachment to the times i once shared with the people who were confined in the same orange walls as i. i sure as hell am puzzled as to why i feel this sudden surge of outburst but if any of you happen to chance upon this (by any chance at all), cheers to those good times! they are gone but they remained.

2007-08-30T01:43:00.000+08:00

reason one

you know you've got it right when your inner monster finally gets tamed (of which u thought was never possible) and when you enjoy even the most heated of arguments and toughest of debates. ive never enjoyed or embraced group projects, but now i think i do with you all!

2007-08-18T05:33:00.000+08:00

want a share of this?

there are a total of 22 entries here to sum up the past 8 months of my 2007. the numbers probably dont justify the number of events that happened (to me) this year but i suppose sharing doesnt come hand in hand with age. well, not with me. its starting to rain again at the wrong time of the year and as much as its a sign of nature giving up, it doesnt bother me because i am selfish when it comes to things i dont have the luxury of enjoying all the time. quite honestly it doesnt bother me if im a schmuck because this is life and in my life, things get played by my rules.

so here, a tight slap of reality in your face.

2007-08-03T22:36:00.000+08:00

are you awake

i allowed my life to go on halt. i was moving physically, but my mind stopped.

today just as any other morning, i slept and left the world behind. then i got awoken by you, and for the rest of the day my mind remained active. naturally, a portion of my thoughts were left for you. and i wondered. i wondered about many things but mainly, i wonder what you think about and i wondered where i'd stand in a decade's time. i thought of the future and in my future, you were there.

2007-07-24T00:10:00.000+08:00

your uncanny ability

in the midst of Vacancy:
"can we go now please please!"
"lets go now okay!"
"ahhh! crap, shit!"
"i hate this movie!"
"all your fault you idiot"
"arhh! ohmygodohmygod"

30mins into the movie, hiding behind popcorn boxes and a sweater
"so what paper do you have on friday?"
"... are you kidding.."

good times

2007-07-23T00:17:00.000+08:00

yesterday was a lie

i am not happy because of you
and im not going to pretend i am

2007-07-10T16:03:00.000+08:00

complexity (self inflicted)

our biggest weakness is to allow ourselves to be emotionally attached to people who shouldnt matter, leading to the consequential downfall.

it hurts, so much.

2007-06-30T21:31:00.000+08:00

loss of colour

there is no lie in saying when it comes to issues that matter, deception is sometimes a far healthier option than truth. heres a personal example: stepping into the end of the first module, im half convinced id drown badly in the industry. the remaining half, i coax myself to sleep everyday into believing i may just be wrong.

as of now i dont know anymore, F*ck.

almost if not everyday, we hear of fighters living among our midst. question: are there Really that many fighters around as they claim to be or do they fall victim to this crazy world of deception. do they? i'd like to think its the latter otherwise quite honestly, i cant see myself staying afloat in the near future.

i am no fighter. im a quitter.
a quitter who sees no purpose in life.
goodnight.

2007-06-21T18:00:00.000+08:00

smallasanant

today isnt a good day for elaboration. but for my 2cents worth; all good things come to an end, cant be sure if it applies to this instance but it most definitely feels like it. (thats life)

2007-06-17T21:36:00.000+08:00

termone

this to kick start a new term =)

ah goofing around.

ANYWAY GREETINGS TO ALL!

2007-06-08T22:09:00.000+08:00

youplayitcoy

1. your quiet confidence
2. those deep-set eyes
3. the smile that hangs across your face
4. the occasional vocal fit
5. your gift with words
6. those strange habits
7. your childlike antics
8. the freaking atrocious handwriting
9. the tiny gestures
10. ..your sincerity

not perfect but enough.
thank you.
because im not sure how else

2007-06-03T18:57:00.000+08:00

donthaveareason

something terribly comforting about doing this

2007-05-27T20:04:00.000+08:00

toomuchofit

exhusted to my bones. over this short period of time for which i went on a hiatus, a string of unfortunate events took place. a string of sickening but nonetheless necessary events occured. in perspective, these events opened up new relations and broke some. ineveitably sickened by the broken ones, the ordeal stopped right there and never went beyond because life carries on and ive learnt at an early age to accept the departure of people.

seeing the gain of these new bond(s), it scares me very much for the arrival of the 15th. i may never be able to reason behind why i took people into my life faster than i will ever allow myself to, but i can only now assume their absence after the 15th will deeply sadden me (rare display of emotion). nevertheless life should never stay stagnant, it will and it must move on..

a moment

2007-05-06T19:07:00.000+08:00

bepresent

be present. probably the most profound two words ive heard by far and its become vital. still, there comes the inevitable. How does one remain present without being detached from everything else. you must have generated a 'duh' answer in correspond to my question. ha, but see soon like me, you'd succumb to be the victim of this question. i think we have to realise that life works very simply by this idiom, the pros and cons. that is, for every decision we make another is bound to suffer.

-----------------------------------

in the wee hours of the morning as i sat being driven in what seems like an endless journey, i was stuck. confused. there, i had the choice of 10 different genres of music from my trusty red friend (ipod), the much appreciated silence i had from my friend and i had the sky starring fiercely at me. i was puzzled. puzzled because in my mind played many ambiance many moods, and i was struggling to define the one i wanted to be in.

see the wonder of this is, it was All within my power to pick and decipher.

im using this as a perfect example of how once again, life is all about choices. there, the mood and ambiance i was confined in wasnt decided by the defining surroundings BUT instead, it was how i wanted it to be. the possibilities were endless, i could surround myself with anger, lust, calamity, desire and so on. it made me imagine the works of life really, and u'd be surprised how similar it actually is to a jukebox; about picking and choosing what you want and how you want it to be.

-----------------------------------

my point is, people hadnt realise the power they hold to their life. its not all god's will. its yours. i think ive digressed way too much. but here i leave you with a thought (going back to the start), a thought i hope you'd consider and return(me) with an answer. as for now, im gonna keep that question embedded in my thick head and im gonna keep trying. trying until i get it right.

those four orange walls were getting too dull..

2007-05-03T12:37:00.000+08:00

read this

5.50am
i awoke just as the ringer rang.
6.20am
i sat and waited for a certain colleague to arrive in my blue ride
6.47am
walked walked and walked, finally flagged a cab
7.11am
stepped into the office 4mins late
7.19am
felt a mad rush from my eyes to the brain
12.25pm
... felt a mad rush from my eyes to the brain
12.31pm
... ... turned on the music
12.31pm
... ... got lost in Penso Ascoltando
12.36pm
... ... ... thursday's not over yet?

2007-04-20T23:42:00.000+08:00

theres life

slouched against the chair, here i am accompanied with orange walls in my small corner at this hour. my eyes tired and strained from the many hours of intense concentration. i.. just never give up (work, that is).

just two more hours and you be able to surrender this stiff body onto the comforts of your bed. just two hours Eileen.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

i think of many things concerning my future. i thought of the glass panelled walls, i thought of how i'd be around people dressed in heels and ties,i thought of the money, and i thought of how id go about earning it. if theres one thing, i never thought i'd be able to converse with my boss just as i would with a long lost friend. this, is how i feel blessed even at this very hour of the day as im being surrounded by the very same orange walls ive been facing for the past 16hours.

this, i surely wont forget.

2007-03-24T12:00:00.000+08:00

littlecorner

for an unimaginable number of times i struggle with finding contentment. if ive learnt anything about life, it is that even though trying relentlessly wears you off, it never fails you (no matter how long it may take) at the end of the day. i am so proud and unbelievably relieved to announce that trying hasn't failed me when it comes to issues that matters most.

friday morning, just as i awoke to start a new day i received a message from Jill which did nothing but uplifted and filled me in with faith and ease all over amidst the challenges i am currently forced to face with. Please mark these words, We will only grow stronger from here on my dearest friend. Thank you. sincerely.

there comes a time in life when all of us leaves those sheltering walls that guides us through our childish rebellious adolescent years and forces us out into a whole new world we are so fragile to (seriously, you either Make it or Break it). Nothing has gone fantastically well for me by far BUT one thing i am so bloody thankful for is this bunch of people i currently work with. Its been a hectic month of devotion and hardwork (i dream about working in the office everynight without fail. this is seriously no joke!) all these wouldnt have been possible if not for them. I AM SO HAPPY (i literally dont stop smiling) BECAUSE FOR ONCE IN MY LIFE I AM SURE CONTENTMENT IS SITTING JUST RIGHT NEXT TO ME. lifeeeeeee you sure are one strange thing!

peek: the lovehate relationship i share with this little corner.

2007-03-17T12:13:00.000+08:00

sounfortunate

I AM SO BUSY EVERYONE. I AM SO FREAKING B TO THE U TO THE S RIGHT DOWN TO THE Y MAN! thank goodness the weekend has finally arrived, i am so worn down all i want to do is to spend these two days sayang-ing myself before monday comes and i start feeling as small as oompa loompa(spell?) again.

strange BUT true, i am poorer working than i am slacking away with the teevo at home. WHY LIKE THAT! my deepest apologies if uve been turned down to meet up with me, allow me to redeem myself first. i look like shit and i feel like shit

.. you'll get it.

2007-02-25T23:03:00.000+08:00

write on

you know, base of my profound love for simon-that-cow, i think american idol is a perfectly acceptable reason to ditch some friends on a night out. but these people beg to differ.. TELL THEM THEY'RE WRONG!

so, three bleady idiiots daring-ly handcuffed me to them and dragged me across town.

im not petty okay, i stopped feeling sore about it after seeing how they looked at me with longing eyes i.e valerie tan the biggest bleady idiot. hehehahahahha!

2007-02-21T18:13:00.000+08:00

cny overdonegone

my first visit to chinatown during the festive period and i was appalled to find that there isnt a single rubbish-bin in sight. whatthehell were the authorities thinking, here they are holding campaigns striving for a cleaner and greener country and they dare leave the entire street with no bins for disposal at all. some balls they have! i was so irritated the entire time with how dirty and black the place was. felt like i was in thailand.

desperate singaporeans; not the poor citizens fault. bloody arseholes.

this year, adding to the family's edition is sweet little evan goh. i call him elmo; because whenever i see him i hear elmo's laughters. weird really. ohh look at his big round eyes i bet this baby has a wide vision of 5combined youngsters and 15grannies.

i never thought i'd have a problem with this, but ohmalord am i aging [physically] quickly. flabby bye-bye arms, deteriorating complexion, bursting waistline, bigger and older looking face, damn i think i see lines forming around my eyes even. why do you do this to me, i just turned 19 man!

for you to verify..

well anyway lunar newyear greetings to you.

p.s sincerest thanks to all who sent their birthday wishes to me.
p.p.s whattheshit susan mayer you're suppose to live happily ever after with mike delfino NOT ian!!!

2007-02-14T17:01:00.001+08:00

happyVdayeileen

first half of the 14th was spent in absolute comfort watching Phantom of the Opera and The Notebook. its the 14th and i thought "well whattheheck, perfect time to drag out any sort of emotions". in my sincerest attempt, i failed. and the best part of it came when i was 30mins into Phantom of the O' wondering if it'll ever ever end. i stuck with it till the end though, i still get consolation right!

that aside, i got slightly over a dozen clothes for cny, half of which i cant showcase to my relatives because they make me look masculine. haha HIGH time i get a butch name..

Vday greetings to you love-nincompoops